well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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