going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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