So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
