Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
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