Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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