apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize