found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
