matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I don't deserve a penis
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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