im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
