mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
