No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
