Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
