The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
