we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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