At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
