don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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