I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
