She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
