Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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