never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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