I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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