Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
