Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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