I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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