Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize