So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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