I'm pants shitting drunk right now
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
