there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just sucked dick on a ferry
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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