Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
