So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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