Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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