I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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