We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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