he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Still dying that you shit outside
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
