I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
