Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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