OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
