New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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