You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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