y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
