just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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