The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize