fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
