after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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