We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She said her name was "party"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
