I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
