At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
