It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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