It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize