Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Your penis caused this!
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