are you so shy because you have an std?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
