No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
nutella sex= disaster
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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