you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
