it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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