as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
