he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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