at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
