well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
