u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
